Perfectionism is a relentless strive for flawlessness, setting unrealistically high standards, and intense self-criticism, often driven by a fear of failure. While it can drive achievement, it frequently leads to anxiety, burnout, procrastination, and low self-esteem. It is distinct from healthy striving for excellence because it links self-worth to perfection, which is unattainable.
The root causes of Perfectionism, People Pleasing, and Procrastination (3Ps)
Wisdom is accepting Imperfectionism
If you are not happy with things around
1 Change what you can!
2 Accept what you can not change!
3 Wisdom is to know what you can and can not change!
World is not fair or perfect
Purananuru 194. Life or World is not fair or perfect: pakkudigai nankaniyar
ஓரில் நெய்தல் கறங்க, ஓர்இல் ஈர்ந்தண் முழவின் பாணி ததும்பப்,
புணர்ந்தோர் பூவணி அணியப், பிரிந்தோர் பைதல் உண்கண் பனிவார்
பு உறைப்பப், படைத்தோன் மன்ற, அப் பண்பி லாளன்!
இன்னாது அம்ம, இவ் வுலகம்; இனிய காண்க, இதன் இயல்புணர்ந் தோரே.
Life or World is not fair or perfect. At one home there is an happy marriage function, but in other home funeral procession. One side, two people are celebrating whereas in other place full of sorrow due to partner' death. Good and bad coexist. For some may be more bad time, driving away feeling of joy. (Is creator wrong in this?) Accept that world is created like this. Wise will be satisfied, looking at good things around.
Accept how things are
Accept how things are, how life is going on, how events happening around you, etc
We are just actors in a play with many types of characters. Just act as per your role. We are not directors or script writers in (life) world drama
How can we be satisfied if we’re always wanting what’s unattainable?
Learn To Appreciate And Enjoy What you have or get!
Like taking care of our bodies, we also have to take care of our mental health by embracing the fact that there are just so many parts of us we cannot change.
Wabi-sabi
The concept of wabi-sabi encompasses everything from aesthetics to temples, classic gardens and ceramics. A great example of wabi-sabi is kintsugi, the art of mending cracked pottery with gold-dusted lacquer. This technique celebrates age and damage instead of hiding imperfections.
侘 (wabi) became a way to express appreciation for the beauty in the elegance of humble, rustic simplicity.
寂 (sabi) a term for the way time affects deterioration. It could be the passing of seasons or the aging pages of an antique book. It’s the beauty of the impermanence of aging.
“Wabi-sabi is the beauty of things which looks imperfect, impermanent and incomplete, instead of something perfect, enduring and complete.”
It’s about making use of what you have and not purchasing what you don’t need. A rustic table that’s been passed down through generations, each scratch adding to the narrative of the object’s history.
Is wabi-sabi is a state of mindfulness, living and enjoying every moment and finding satisfaction in our lives?
Accepting limitations
Any work or project one should do has to be achievable and worthwhile (valuable). The person or the team must be capable (have the resources) to undertake the work.
1 Feasible or possible to do and goal or target is achievable and realistic.
2 The goal or results or output must be important, useful, or worthwhile enough to justify the time, money, or effort spent on it.
3 Capable refers to having the necessary ability, power, or resources to do the work.
The workplace is a constant battle between deadlines, exterior pressures and the attainment of perfection. Embrace the wabi idea of isolation and dedicate your undivided attention until it’s achieved. Also, during regular intervals, be sure to take a moment to refresh, breathe, grab a coffee, go outside, appreciate the moment and recharge.
Harsh Realities
People, countries, companies/organizations loose everything in the end, because they refuse to accept harsh realities.
1) However great you are, you can not win everything. Wisdom is to accept limitations and move on. All things one gains by doing things one is good at, loose in things one is not good at (or hopeless).
2) Ego and over estimation of self and under estimation of opponent is THE main reason of all failures.
3) Belief, emotion, Superstition is MORE POWERFUL than Logic, intelligence, Reasoning and so on.
4) Unbiased judgment is rare commodity. Common sense is uncommon.
Perfectionism & OCD
Perfectionism OCD is, the need for perfection is driven by fear, anxiety, or a physical sensation of something being wrong (e.g., intense distress if an object is not perfectly aligned).
Perfectionism is often a core trait of Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD), which is distinct from OCD. Unlike OCD, people with OCPD believe their rigid, perfectionistic way of doing things is correct and rarely want to change.
If perfectionism causes you to lose hours of your day, causes immense distress, or prevents you from functioning, it may be worth consulting medical help.
Value for money & Good enough!
Perfectionism generally provides poor value for money, often acting as a hidden drain on financial resources, time, and earning potential. While it may stem from a desire for high quality, it frequently leads to procrastination, over-spending on insignificant details, and delayed launches that halt revenue.
Many times, embracing "good enough"—is often a better strategy.
Try to do your best. Put sincere efforts. But learn when to stop and move to next step or stage
Closing Remark
Perfection is not required to live a perfect normal, comfortable, happy and care free life
Perfectionism leads us nowhere:
Perfectionism has cost us way too much money.
It has cost us our relationships.
It cost us our health.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
